A Safe Haven

So how do you prevent yourself from being lonely when you’re primarily alone? This has been my biggest trial since I moved in to my new apartment over 3 months ago.

Generally, I’m a highly social person. I love going out and spending time with my friends, and finding any excuse to get out really. Now, however, I find it to be a different dynamic now that I’m living alone. I started to feel lonely… often.

Initially, it seemed like all my friends and their moms (literally) were concerned about my living condition. They didn’t want me to get depressed and were constantly checking in on me and asking me to go out. Obviously, the swell would end after they were confident that I wasn’t about to become a hoarder and sink into a bout of depression. So there was a month lull where the calls stopped coming in as often, and I realized I was spending more and more time alone in my apartment.

A common outing spot for me and my friends, Wahoo's,
 has delicious chicken!
(Photo: Jamie Sullivan)

Finally, one day, I decided to stop feeling sorry for myself. I made a vow to myself that I wouldn’t be a recluse and I’d put an end to my depressing loneliness. I realized that I was easier to forget now that I didn’t have a roommate whose mind I could constantly be around or interacting with. I decided to take on a proactive outlook instead of having the mentality of “no one wants to play with me.”

If you want to make things happen, then the only person who can make them happen is you. I started to take advantage of the fact that I don’t have to be considerate of anyone in my apartment but me.

If a friend is visiting from out of town, crash at my place! Need to get away from your roommate who’s driving you crazy? Just drop on by, I’ll listen to your complaints. I’ve allowed my friends to transform and use my place as their own safe haven.

This past award season, my apartment became host to all the viewing parties that major television had to offer. My friends and I laughed at the Super Bowl blackout and commercials, and drooled over Beyonce’s performance. We cried during the Oscar speeches, and sang along during the Grammy’s. I opened my apartment up for communal gatherings and adopted an open door policy, and my friends came strolling in.

We all gasped when Jennifer Lawrence tripped on her
way to accept her Best Actress Oscar
(Photo:www.news.com.au)

This last Sunday, I finally decided to have my first little dinner party. After spring break, I came home fully stocked with groceries thanks to my adoring parents who think I survive off of fast food, which I don’t.

Well, usually.

So I laid out a spread of salmon and cheeses and sausage and invited over some friends. Add some wine into the mix, and this apartment of mine fully enveloped the communal haven I’ve been striving for. We vented, laughed, gave advice, and of course gossiped until we ran out of things to talk about and our bellies were full.

The lovely spread I put out for my small dinner party
(Photo: Jamie Sullivan)

It may have taken a while, but was once just my apartment is finally starting to feel like my home.