From Five, to One, to None

How do I start this? I guess I should start at the beginning. A year ago from this day, I lived in a wonderful 4 bedroom with 5 other girls. Go back 6 months from today and I lived in a lovely 2 bedroom with only one roommate, my brother. And today, I still live in the same area, only now I fly solo in a 1 bedroom. 

So now that I live on my own, I’ve decided to write about my journey as a student at The University of Texas at Austin who has found themselves roommate-less. But, I find it only fair that I give a little background as to how I got into this situation.

After all, I don’t want people to think that I’m a sociopathic leper.

At first there were five, six including myself, at Hula Hut 

for dinner. 

Jan. 2012

Photo by: Jamie Sullivan

When 6 girls are confined to one apartment things tend to become… cramped. Personal space becomes almost nonexistent. Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t trade my experience with those girls for the world, but I wouldn’t ever want to be trapped around that much estrogen again in my life.

I lived in one of the extra-large bedrooms with my best friend, Natashia. We shared floor space, a TV, and whatever sanity was lying around. If she wasn’t my soul mate, I probably would have smothered her in her sleep. Unfortunately, my relationship with other girls in the apartment wasn’t as unconditional.

Me and my roommate, Natashia, in our generally

 avoided living room (and yes, we're wearing

matching wedges).
(Photo by: Jamie Sullivan)

There was tension. And dirty dishes. And a snarky thermostat that seemed to mysteriously change its own temperature (we know it was you, Glenda). It got to the point that Natashia and I would avoid the common area and kitchen for fear of being caught up in meaningless conversation that we’d already heard from another roommate. It was exhausting.

When it came time to find a new living situation I knew that I wanted to downsize. That’s where my older brother, Shelby, comes in. This also requires some background knowledge in order for my progression to make sense.

My first semester at UT was also when my brother, also a UT student, first went off to rehab for opiate addiction. Over the next three years, there was disenrollment, relapses, reenrollment, etc. Needless to say, my college career has been riddled with emotional stress stemming from my brother’s substance abuse. And then, last summer, my brother spent 5 months in Maine in a sober home getting healthy and ready for school in the fall. 

However, he needed a new apartment. My parents saw it as an all-around win. They only have to pay one rent, Shelby gets a support system and a healthy environment, and we both get a place to live.

Unfortunately, my living with my brother only lasted two months. Early in October, I came home from the library one night and my brother had overdosed on heroin. It was too late by the time the ambulance got to our apartment. He was 24 years old. 

To two: me and my brother Shelby.

(Photo by: Jamie Sullivan)

Now, I’m not trying to elaborate on the emotional turmoil I went through, and am still going through due to the loss of my brother, but it does play an obvious dynamic as to how I’m living now.

So, the search for a new apartment was on. I have to admit, finding a new apartment in the middle of the semester wasn’t easy. It was slim pickings out there in West Campus. I wasn’t able to move until January, but thankfully I didn’t have to settle for a place that was infested with cockroaches or had a creepy stairwell that I would have inevitably broken my neck traversing.

So I went from 5 roommates, to 1 roommate, to none. It’s just me, and I have to say I haven’t completely gotten used to it. There’s no one to come home to, but there’salso no one to clean up after. There are many pros and cons, and it’s an even bigger adjustment for me because I didn’t choose to be in this situation.

 I’m not a sociopath, I’m not a leper, I live in a one bedroom because life throws curveballs and sometimes the universe doesn’t make sense.

To one: Now I'm on my own, but I can still

make colorful cookies for Christmas!

(Photo by: Miki Goetsch)

How am I dealing with this new territory? Well, that’s what I intend to elaborate upon in my future postings. Buckle up, it’s going to be a bumpy ride... but at least there are no dirty dishes, right?